When you grow up in a culture that largely defines adulthood by marriage it’s sometimes hard to tell if you are a grownup yet. This is complicated by a subculture that frowns on the word ‘adult.’ Basically- everything that is defined as ‘adult’ is largely complicated or undesirable. Bills. Reasonable bed times. Retirement plans. Careers (not just jobs). It’s all stuff we don’t want.
I think. What it comes down to- is that there are 2 things the keep us from wanting to grow up. 1. The picture in our head of how we think life is supposed to be. 2. Responsibility.
1. I don’t know about you- but when I was growing up- the adults were all the people with the answers. They made the plans. They did the work. And we had the fun. I don’t think I even knew what adults did for fun. Perceptibly, they didn’t spend very much time playing so they probably weren’t having very much fun at all.
2. Plus. They had to do all the work. And they used this word, “stress,” that didn’t sound very fun.
And so I built this picture in my head. That when I “grew up” I would have to first have life all figured out and then be very tired and bored doing it. And that’s how I would know I had arrived at adulthood.
But then I grew up a little. And discovered that 30 isn’t that old. And 30 year olds don’t really have life all figured out. And being an adult has lots of benefits. And the reason adults are tired is because they are busy balancing all the fun things they do with all the (maybe) not so fun things they have to do.
And then I looked at high schoolers. And remembered when I was in high school. And how little I had figured out then. Even compared to how little I have figured out now.
And decided I have a lot more in common with lost 30 year olds than lost 20 year olds.
And then I decided. I’m an adult.
And adulthood really isn’t so bad. I get to make all my own choices (mostly) (albeit at times to my detriment). I get to pay my own bills because I get to make my own money and accrue my own debt. I get to take trips and move to big cities and learn to cook because I’m NOT a kid anymore- I’m an adult. And I decided that I kinda like it. And I kinda like knowing that there is no point in my life when I have to have it all figured out. There is no point that we ‘arrive.’ Because adulthood is not synonymous with having life figured out. Rather. I would argue. It instead rhymes with ‘being willing to figure it out.’ And that my friends. Is what I am willing to do.
On another note. I’m turning a year older this week. Yes. These topics are related. Because I am, in fact, so analytical that I even analyze how I feel about turning 25. Which makes me wonder how I feel about turning older. Which makes me wonder if I’m old yet. Which makes me write blogs about how growing up isn’t so bad after all. Plus. 25 is half way to 50. Which means that I have to relive extent of my entire life before I’m even 50 years old. And a lot has changed for me in the past 25 years. Which makes me think that a lot will probably change in the next 25 years. Plus. I think I’m in what is known as the ‘prime of my life.’ (plus. your brain isn’t fully developed until you are 25 and it doesn’t start deteriorating until you are 30. Now, this is what I call prime.)
All that to say. I think it’s important to like your life. Where you are. In time. In space. In adulthood. In life.
In other, less related news. I have taken to some crafty fall adventures as of late. Partially because it’s fall. And partially because I’m in the stage of life where I have the freedom to do it. See what I mean?:
on that note: